A Journey Beyond Your Ego
Have you ever found yourself caught in the tug-of-war between your ego and your authentic self?
I've certainly experienced my fair share of battles with the ego – those moments when the allure of external validation and superficial achievements pulls me away from my true desires and values. Delving into the subtle ways our ego influences our decisions and relationships, and discovering how we can cultivate a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Each and every person on this earth has an ego, but there’s a common misconception - while a person’s ego can certainly be seen as a negative quality of their current existence, it can be the most important trait to pay attention to for us as individuals.
In fact, I would even go as far as to say that your ego is most likely the greatest cause of your current dissatisfaction with life.
Narcissism
Every single one of us has a touch of narcissism in our being. How do I know this? Because it’s evident in the way we navigate our lives, regardless of who we are as people. In other words, our entire outlook on life is through the lens of our own personal experience and filtered with our biases and grudges. Main Character syndrome of thinking everyone cares about your every move, when the truth is to most people aside from your immediate circle... they don't.
The Ego's Grip on Decisions:
Our ego often clouds our judgment and drives us to make choices based on fear, pride, or the need for approval. It's a phenomenon I've observed in my own life, particularly when it comes to decision-making.
For example, the temptation to splurge on a new car when my current cute little Audi A1 one is perfectly functional. Despite knowing that financial stability and practicality should take precedence, there's still that inner voice urging me to indulge in a flashy possession to boost my ego and match my current external image, rather than an A1 which is stereotyped as a young girls first car. And I'm certainly not the only one; you see time and time again people buying things they can't afford and barely even want just for show, there is billion £ industries built off people's internal want to show off.
Why is ego a bad thing?
Ego I don't think is always a bad thing, but it is certainly something you need to keep in check. The first step is awareness – 10 signs your ego is badly in control:
You feel elevated from gossiping about other people’s flaws
You find yourself in a feisty discussion and you just can’t back down until you have ‘won’ the argument
You constantly compare yourself to other people who you feel are better than you (better looking, more intelligent, happier, more wealthy)
You constantly compare yourself to people who you feel are not as good as you (less intelligent, lower status)
You feel jealous when other people do well
You talk about yourself for 10 minutes before asking another how they are
You’d rather win than do your best
You set yourself impossible goals and then beat yourself up when you don’t reach them
You blame others when things don’t go your way
Overcoming the Grip of the Ego:
So how do we break free from the grip of the ego and live a more authentic life?
For me, it starts with self-awareness. I recently saw a figure that 95% of people believe they are self-aware about how they're perceived, but only 10-15% are. But that doesn't mean we can't try - learning to observe and detach from ego-driven thoughts and emotions. It also involves practicing humility, embracing vulnerability, and learning from setbacks and failures. By quieting the voice of the ego and trusting in our intuition and abilities, we can make decisions aligned with our values and aspirations, rather than succumbing to self-limiting beliefs.
Perspective on Success and Validation:
Reconsidering my perspective on success and validation. As I've grown older, I've definitely slowly learned to differentiate between genuine fulfillment and the fleeting highs of external validation.
Starting with Validation, especially in today's social media-driven culture, it is rife, did it even happen if there isn't a photo to document it on social media? While seeking validation isn't inherently bad, I mean hey, it's not that I don't use social media, but it's essential to be mindful of the trap of doing things purely for show.
Success is even trickier, to some success is rooted in Money, Family, happiness, health, or our contribution to the world or perhaps something else. There is no wrong answer; what matters is why.
In a recent chat with our awesome CEO, Francesca Brady 🌬️ , about egos we discussed how job titles are often more about puffing up our egos than really showing what we do. Francesca made a great point—what really matters at AirRated is the work we're doing, not fancy titles. It was a reminder that chasing status and recognition can sometimes cloud the true essence of our contributions, We're all about the cause, not just the title that comes with it.
Setting Goals
As someone who is inherently goal-oriented, distinguishing between what I want to do for myself and what I do for the sake of outward validation. It's all too easy to get caught up in the pursuit of achievements that quickly become a notch on a belt rather than something we are proud of, losing sight of our true passions and values in the process.
Embracing Vulnerability for Deeper Connections:
As I've opened myself up to others and allowed myself to be seen, flaws and all. While it can be scary to let down our guard and show our true selves to the world, the connections forged are often the most genuine and meaningful.
Navigating the terrain of the ego is a constant journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. It requires us to cultivate self-awareness, humility, and compassion towards ourselves and others. I am in no means any different, I still take 50 selfies to get 1, I still share my achievements on social media, but I have certainly made waves to start making more choices that reflect me and not my ego (as much)!
